Today I'm Falling
by Emma-Lee14
Summary: Draco is dying and time is slipping through his fingers as he relives his memories of his only love. It could have been yesteryday, ten years ago, or today. He can't remember the moment he fell in love with her, all he can remember is falling and falling.


A/N UnfortunatleyI don't own any of these characters, they belong to JKR. I wrote this fic on a little spur of the moment thing. I was listining to country music and I just got inspired. I hope for some reviews!

**Today I'm Falling**

He could not remember when he fell in love with her. He could no pinpoint that exact moment when the world slipped from under his very feet and his heart ceased to beat for a moment. He just remembered falling and falling and never standing again.

He hated her. He hated her bushy hair, her seemingly endless pool of knowledge, her chocolate brown eyes, her snobby attitude, and her Gryffindor pride. He hated it that she was brave and smart and caring. He hated her for loving her friends and he hated her for hating him. He hated the way her brown eyes lit up when speaking about something she found interesting, he hated they flashed with sparks when she was angry and he really hated it when those eyes filled up slowly with tears. He hated the way she walked, as if she owned the world and if the world didn't like it, then it wasn't her problem. He hated the way she worked on an assignment, her eyes bright with knowledge and her hand scribbling furiously on her parchment. Most, he hated the way he loved her eyes. He hated the way he loved her bushy hair and her hunger for knowledge. He hated it that he admired her for her courage, kindness, and bravery. Oh how he hated her for it. He hated her for making him fall in love with her. By the time he realized that he didn't hate her at all, he was head over heels in love with her.

He used to go to the library sometimes when he knew she was studying and he would watch her. He didn't like to think of it as stalking, so he usually brought along his own work. But that never worked out because he would end up just gazing at her for hours. So eventually he accepted the fact that he was stalking her. In his head he wrote her letters, letters about how he loved her and about how he wished she loved him. But she hated him and he never wrote the letters.

He wished he could remember that moment when he realized he loved her. It seems so important that he remember. Which is probably why he can't. He can never remember the important things, less lately than usual. Time seems to be slipping between his fingertips, the past mingling with the present. He sighs andcloses his weary eyes. He knows he should sleep but he cannot. Instead of trying to remember the moment he fell in love with her, he remembers the moment he made love to her.

He could remember that night in the bar so clearly, it might have been yesterday. Was it? She had been drinking a lot by the time he had walked in, and she drank a lot more after that, he remembered. He had asked to set by her, much to both of their surprise. And she had allowed him too. He was the enemy, but something changed between them that night. He asked her how she was and she said she was good, he was good too. She told him that she didn't know what to do anymore, she said that she felt lost. He allowed her to cry on his shoulder in her state of drunkenness, and he took her home. He knew he was taking advantage of her state. He knew that if she were good and sober she would have never allowed him to take her to his flat. But he didn't care. His skin was hott and tense with his desire for her. He remembered carrying her to his bed and making love to her. He had been with many women in his life, but nothing was compared to her. His skin was on fire when he looked at her- how he savored her touch! She fell asleep in his arms, muttering something. _Draco_. She said. But no, he had been delirious. She had never said his name, he would not let himself think that. That morning he left before she awoke, he did not want her to see him. He did not want to see the lusty allure of passion in her eyes from the night before change to cold hard hate when she realized who he was. He would never want her to realize that she had spent the night with Draco Malfoy. It would only make her angry. So he slipped out of his apartment that morning, and when he came home that night she was gone. She probably woke up frightened and scared, too sick with a hangover to remember who she had been with the night before. He hoped she never remembered.

He saw her little after that. He heard she became an auror- later he found out for sure. She eventually got married to one Ron Weasley and Draco felt as if his heart would break. He watched her wedding in silence, hidden amongst the other guests. He watched her walk down the isle on Harry's arm. Her face was beaming and she looked happier than he could ever remember her. She said her vows without hesitation, she embraced Ron with love and passion. That was the moment Draco realized she could never love him, she would never look at him the way she looked at Ron. He left the wedding as silently as he had came. He thought he was over her, but he wasn't. Years later and deeper he went into his fathers business. The war was looming ever closer and Draco began to anticipate it with his every bones. He no longer had the will to live, for what had he ever done to deserve life for? He became a fearless drone, doing whatever his father wanted. But the day the war came, he was prepared. He was ordered to kill one of Potters friends, someone the Dark Lord felt Harry could not fight without. Draco killed Ronald Weasley without mercy or thought. He killed him swiftly and quickly. Later in the papers he read that Hermione Granger grieved for her husband constantly. Only then did the guilt come in floods and waves. He hated himself. He had caused her that pain, he had caused it. But he kept on. It was as if his heart was slowly turning to stone and the only one who could ever thaw it was the only one he would never tell. He became the closest death eater to Voldemort. People now said the name Draco Malfoy in the same deadly whisper they said You-Know-Who with. Then today came the final battle. Or was it yesterday. Or tomorrow. Or ten years ago. Draco could not remember.

It was perfectly suited for it to be during a storm. Rain poured down in never ending sheets and lightening cracked at random moments. Draco stayed by Voldemort's side, defending him whenever possible and attending to his own safety only when necessary. When he had the chance his eyes would scan the plain nervously for Hermione. He did not think she would be there, Harry would not let her fight. But he worried none the less. He remembered the fright he felt as he saw Harry standing above a crumpled body in the midst of the battle. He heard the Dark Lord hiss in triumph as he raised his wand in preparation for the end. Harry did not see, he was crying and tending to the person beneath him. Her brown hair billowed from beneath her, her breathing was shallow and ragged. Harry picked her up and tried to walk. His legs were shaking and he was wounded in his upper thigh. He fell. Tears smeared down his face as he tried in vain to pick her up again. Voldemort laughed cruelly. The wind carried away his voice and Harry did not hear him, instead he knelt by Hermione's still frame. He shuddered and he knew Harry was crying. Draco started at this boy he had spent his whole life hating. This boy who cared enough for the person beneath him to risk his life for her. Draco knew that Harry was never meant to be his enemy. He realized he was crying himself. At that moment Voldemort raised his want slowly and pointed it at Harry. By the tine the boy turned around, it was too late. Voldemort was going to kill him.

Something had snapped in that moment. Draco felt his body jerk sideways and crash into Voldemort. He felt his masters rage and shock as they both plummeted to the ground. He saw Harry grab for his wand. Suddenly Voldemort was on his feet again, his wand pointed at Harry. He still had not had time to get his own properly ready. He could not stop the flash of blue light. But Hermione could. She must have been conscious enough to realize what was happening, she stepped in front of Harry. But Draco was not going to let Hermione get hit. Voldemorts spell was intended to hurt Harry severely, not kill him. He wanted to enjoy his death. Draco lunged in front of her. The spell hit him in the back and he screamed out in pain. Harry and Voldemort began to fight, but Draco did not notice. He rolled off Hermione and stared up at the sky. Her face blurred in his vision and he realized she was crying.. She was muttering something, he would never forget her words. _It was you. It was you, Draco. It was you. _She repeated. Draco shook his head. She couldn't remember that night. She couldn't. Draco saw his vision begin to blurr around the edges and suddenly felt dizzy. Draco felt tears dripping down her face and onto his. _I love you. _He told her. Hermione nodded his head and a tiny bubble of blood appeared in the corner of his mouth. _I know. _And she did. He knew she had known all along, she had known even as she had married Ron. His face burned with shame and sorrow and he closed his eyes. _You killed Ron._ She whispered. He nodded his head and blinked away more tears. Her beautiful brows wrinkled and she frowned. _You saved Harry. _And he nodded his head, he had saved Harry. _You love me. _She asked him more than she told him. Draco nodded his head again and began to weep. Oh how he had wanted to tell her for so long. Hermione began to sob and she bent so her face was close to his. _Kiss me_. She said. Draco kissed her right then, the rain and his tears mingling on her face. He kissed her lips, her eyelids, her fingers, her neck, and she smiled softly. He knew he was going to die. He laid his head in her lap and gazed at her face. He wanted her face to be the last thing that he remembered. He held her hand as his eyes became vacant and he inhaled his last breath. As he released it, he heard the whisper of a name. His name. _Draco. _It was today after all. And he was falling.


End file.
